But if I did…

I won’t be attending the San Diego Comic-Con this year. Let’s face it. I probably won’t be attending it any year. I’m extremely reluctant to fly anywhere, for a number of reasons. (I’m not afraid of the experience. I’m just ceaselessly irritated by almost every aspect of it.) And I can’t quite picture myself getting on a plane specifically to attend a comic convention. I’ll drive to one, or better still, take a train, but neither of those options is really practical when your starting point is West Virginia and your destination is Southern California.

A dislike of being herded and anxiety over my carbon footprint don’t necessarily constitute a condemnation of the con itself, and if I were to go, I’d find plenty of interesting panels to occupy my time. So here’s what I wouldn’t want to miss:

Thursday, July 26

    12:30-2:00 The Many Faces of the Graphic Novel— Graphic Novels come in many shapes, sizes, and formats, and they’ve been written about almost every topic under the sun! Six creators whose work explores very different aspects of the medium—Jeffrey Brown (Clumsy), Becky Cloonan (East Coast Rising), Renée French (The Ticking), Jim Ottaviani (Cowboys, Bone Sharps, and Thunder Lizards), Andy Runton (Owly), and Doug TenNapel (Creature Tech)—discuss the diversity of the form and the innovative places the graphic novel is going with moderator Mark Siegel (First Second Books). Room 4

I would obviously be forced to clone myself, because this is happening simultaneously with…

    12:30-2:00 Drawing Style and Storytelling— In a classroom-style workshop, Darwyn Cooke (The Spirit), Cameron Stewart (The Other Side), Carla Speed McNeil (Finder), and Colleen Coover (Banana Sunday)—and maybe another special guest—discuss design, look-and-feel, and how they develop the visual style of specific projects. Moderated by Douglas Wolk (Reading Comics). Room 30CDE

Hm… Runton, French, and Ottaviani or Cooke, Stewart, McNeil and Coover? Thanks for nothing, con schedulers! (Then again, I can’t even draw a stick figure, so I’d feel bad about occupying space in the latter.)

    2:00-3:00 LGBT New Creators— Who are the next LGBT comics superstars? With the astonishing breakthrough of Alison Bechdel’s award-winning Fun Home: A Family Tragicomic, Phil Jimenez’s run as lead artist on Infinite Crisis, and Allen Heinberg’s big splash into comics with Young Avengers and Wonder Woman, LGBT creators have shown themselves to be a major force within the comics world. Prism Comics, a nonprofit organization that supports lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgendered (LGBT) comics, creators, and readers, not only champions these comics superstars but actively encourages, promotes, and develops tomorrow’s stars as well. Join moderator Terrance Griep (openly gay pro wrestler known as “SpiderBaby” and comic book writer of Scooby-Doo and Judo Girl) as he presents up-and-coming LGBT comics creators, including Steve MacIsaac (artist/writer of Shirtlifter, winner of Prism’s first annual Press Grant), Megan Gedris (writer/artist of YU+ME, winner of Prism’s second annual Press Grant), Tommy Roddy (writer of Pride High), and Sean McGrath (writer of Frater Mine). Room 10

Because I would need some kind of cleansing breath after the four-part “Homosexuality in Comics” series over at Comic Book Resources.

    6:00-7:00 100 Manga Magazines in 60 Minutes— In Japan, manga is published in massive weekly, biweekly, and monthly manga magazinesthat fit every imaginable category: shojo to shonen, science fiction to horror, moe to yaoi, children’s to adult. Jason Thompson (Manga: The Complete Guide) provides a visual tour of the manga world, its industry secrets, and future trends. Room 4

A big theme for my con attendance would be “stalking Jason Thompson.”

Friday, July 27

    2:30-3:30 Spotlight on Rick Geary— Writer/artist and San Diego Reader staple Rick Geary talks to long-time friend David Wilson about his career in comics, including his ongoing series of graphic novels, Treasury of Victorian Murder, the latest of which, The Bloody Benders, is out from NBM in time for Comic-Con. Room 3

Given how much I love the Treasury series, I really should start tracking down some of Geary’s other works, like that Gumby comic. Of course, SDCC presents yet another scheduling conflict for me:

    2:30-3:30 Spotlight on Gilbert Hernandez/Love and Rockets’ 25th— In this 25th anniversary year of the legendary independent comic book Love and Rockets, co-creator Gilbert Hernandez sits down with his longtime publisher, Fantagraphics’ Gary Groth, for a frank discussion of Beto’s work and his opinions about comics, touching on his recent Vertigo graphic novel, Sloth, his forthcoming Dark Horse miniseries, and the just released Chance in Hell from Fantagraphics. Ask your own questions in an audience Q&A. Room 10

I should be a good mangaphile and insist that I would attend all of the publisher panels, but I’d probably be lying, unless I didn’t have anything else on my plate. Still, I’d go to the first half hour of this one.

    5:30-6:30 Yen Press Launches!— Spend an hour with Kurt Hassler (former Borders graphic novel and manga buyer), Rich Johnson (former VP, book trade, DC Comics) and senior editor JuYon Lee (former senior editor, ICE Kunion) as they discuss what’s in store for Yen Press, the new graphic novel and manga imprint of Hachette Book Group USA. Room 10

(The composition of the panel would explain why Lee didn’t answer my e-mail inquiry about the ICE Kunion web site, wouldn’t it?)

Then I’d sneak out the back so as not to miss a minute of the one-shop stalking offered by the panel for…

    6:00-7:00 Lost in Translation— Lately foreign comics, especially manga, have topped the bookstore graphic-novel sales charts. And in other media as well, foreign entertainment has been making a big push. See long-time translators, editors, and industry people answer questions and discuss the trials and triumphs of being in this exciting area of the media industry! Panelists include William Flanagan (Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle), Jonathan Tarbox (Angel Sanctuary), Jake Forbes (Fullmetal Alchemist), Jason Thompson (Manga: The Complete Guide), Shaenon Garrity (Overlooked Manga Festival blog), and Stephen Paul (Beck: Mongolian Chop Squad)! Room 3

I always get really excited about awards shows before they actually start, then I get really bored about ten minutes in. (Except for the Tony Awards.) But I’d still sit through at least some of…

    8:30-11:30 Will Eisner Comic Industry Awards— The 19th annual Eisner Awards, the “Oscars” of the comics industry, will be given out by celebrity presenters, including Reno 911’s Tom Lennon and Ben Garant, comedian Brian Posehn, cartoon voice actor Maurice LeMarche, British TV celebrity Jonathan Ross, and author Neil Gaiman. Other prestigious awards to be given out include the Russ Manning Promising Newcomer Award and the Bob Clampett Humanitarian Award. The master of ceremonies is Bongo Comics’ Bill Morrison, who will be aided by the Go-Gos’ Jane Wiedlen. Admission to the Eisners is free to all Comic- Con attendees—just be sure to bring your badge. Doors open for pros and VIPs at 7:30 and for attendees at 8:15. Click for full details on the Eisners. Ballroom 20

Saturday, July 28

    10:30-11:30 Meet the Press: Writing About Comics— From blogs to books to magazines, the public conversation about comics is livelier—and faster—than it’s ever been. Heidi MacDonald (Publishers Weekly), Nisha Gopalan (Entertainment Weekly), Tom Spurgeon (The Comics Reporter), Tom McLean (Variety), Graeme McMillan (The Savage Critics), and moderator Douglas Wolk (Reading Comics) discuss the state of the art of comics criticism. Room 3

Tom Spurgeon and Graeme McMillan? What sane blogophile could resist that opportunity? Panel line-up also plays a significant role in my interest in…

    11:30-12:30 Reality-Based Graphic Novels— The rise of graphic novels in the past few years has seen the creation of some incredible work rooted in the real world. Some of these are personal autobiographical memoirs, while others are rooted in history. Moderator Andrew Farago (Cartoon Art Museum, San Francisco) interviews Comic-Con special guests Alison Bechdel (Fun Home), Guy Delisle (Pyongyang: A Journey in North Korea), Rick Geary (The Bloody Benders), Miriam Katin (We Are On Our Own), and Joe Matt (Spent) about tales of their own lives and those of others. Room 3
    5:30-8:00 Gays in Comics Panel and Mixer: The 20th Anniversary!— Two decades of “Gays in Comics” is celebrated at its birthplace: Comic-Con! From DC’s diverse roster that includes a lesbian Question and Batwoman and a gay Pied Piper and Midnighter to Marvel’s Moondragon and Quasar or Hulkling and Wicca, super-hero comics have come a long way in representing gay characters. With Yaoi also exploding in the marketplace, the bravura graphic novel Fun Home winning awards worldwide, and TV shows such as Heroes tapping into the comic book closet, gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered characters and fans are finally being represented. An all-star panel of GLBT creators (and a straight one) will offer startling insight and glimpses of surprises to come! Joining founding moderator Andy Mangels, best-selling author of Star Trek novels and director of She-Ra and Isis DVD documentaries, are Alison Bechdel, the writer/artist of the critical best-seller Fun Home and Dykes to Watch Out For; Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa, the writer of Sensational Spider-Man and Nightcrawler; Chuck Kim, a writer for the Heroes TV series and many DC Comics titles; Charles “Zan” Christensen, the co-founder of PRISM and writer of the upcoming The Mark of Aeacus; Alonso Duralde, pop culture critic, author of 101 Must-See Movies for Gay Men, and former Advocate arts editor; and Megan Gedris, PRISM grant-winning artist of Yu+Me manga webcomic. Plus, a very important special guest may make an appearance! Afterward, stick around for the hour-long gay comics fan mixer/social, sponsored by PRISM Comics, with prizes and surprise special guests! Room 6A

I can’t resist a mixer. Well, I can, but…

Sunday, July 29

It is now law that every con will feature a panel on this topic. It would also be law that I attended all of them.

    10:30-11:30 The Graphic Novel Explosion— Up until the last few years, graphic novels were published primarily by specialty houses that produced only comics and related works. Now, however, traditional mainstream publishing houses are producing graphic novels and even setting up graphic novel divisions, spurred by bookstore sales trends, library demand, and critical recognition. What has led to this trend? What sorts of books are these publishers looking for? Who is the audience? What role has manga played? And is the graphic novel market going to continue to expand, or will the bubble burst? Panelists include Charles Kochman, senior editor, Harry N. Abrams; David Saylor, creative director, Scholastic/Graphix; Karen Berger, executive editor, Vertigo/Minx/DC; Mark Siegel, senior editor, First Second; Dallas Middaugh, associate publisher, Del Rey Manga; Chris Schluep, editor, Ballantine/Del Rey/Villard; and Calvin Reid, news editor, Publisher’s Weekly, and co-editor, PW Comics Weekly. Moderated by Jackie Estrada, Eisner Awards administrator and consultant to Foreword magazine’s Comique graphic novel supplement. Room 8

Ditto for this topic, and look at this panel!

    1:00-2:00 What’s Happening in Kids’ Comics Today?— Some of the most creative work in the industry is being done in kids’ comics. Svetlana Chmakova (Dramacon), Jimmy Gownley (Amelia Rules!), Debbie Huey (Bumperboy), Kazu Kibuishi (Flight, Amulet), George O’Connor (Journey into Mohawk Country), and Gene Yang (American Born Chinese) talk with moderator Dave Roman (Nickelodeon) about the importance of kids’ comics—and the fun they have creating them! Room 8