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You are here: Home / Uncategorized / Solicitation is a crime

Solicitation is a crime

September 15, 2004 by David Welsh

At least the way Marvel does it. Solicitations for December, found here on Usenet, boggle the mind. It’s hard to pinpoint the nadir, but the following did stand out as uniquely agonizing:

“MARVEL WHAT IF? WHAT IF THERE WERE SEVEN MORE COMICS YOU HAD TO BUY?? What if we could say, “due to popular demand” and mean it? Well, True Believer, we ain’t lyin’! You wanted the craziest, most far-out What If extravaganzas we could find, so we sent some interns up to the attic of this old House of Ideas and we never heard from them again! So, we warned the industry’s BEST CREATORS we’d send THEM to the attic next if they didn’t come through. And they did! Look at this all-star lineup, gang, and you’ll notice the only What If missing is the one about Forbush Man becoming EIC!”

The tortured syntax, the artificial chumminess, the abundance of inviting straight lines, the whole “Bad Stan Lee Tribute Band” quality of it… these things are supposed to make people actually want to buy the comics, aren’t they?

For more eye-rolling, stop by Fanboy Rampage.

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