You think things are freaky now in Marvel Comics? Take a look into the distant past via Essential Avengers Vol. 2, which is absolutely (with apologies to Gwen Stacy) pregnant with melodrama.
In the early going, we have Hawkeye pining (kind of) over the Scarlet Witch:
“As far as she’s concerned, that over-aged square is the only Joe in the room! But it might be different if I was the leader here! Chicks always go for the guy who’s top dog! Just my luck it hasta be him!”
Keep telling yourself that, Clint. Still, Wanda seems to be hot for teacher:
“What is there about Steve Rogers that makes him so appealing to me?”
Contrary to Hawkeye’s power-is-catnip theory, we see the beginnings of Wanda’s fascination with head cases or emotional cripples:
“Is it the fact that he seems to harbor some tragic secret… some hidden sorrow?”
But maybe Clint shouldn’t be too bummed out:
“Or am I just confusing pity with the dawning of love?”
Harsh! But that’s a Patsy Walker comic compared to the woes of Wasp and Goliath. Maybe there’s more of a foundation for that spousal abuse story than I thought? Because when Hank gets stuck at 10 feet tall (doofus), things get ugly.
“Whereas I used to cherish the love of Janet Van Dyne… I cannot bear her sympathy!”
Now, that’s healthy. But it gets worse when Jan tries to… y’know… help. And what thanks does she get for acting as Hank’s assistant?
“I’ll get one — a top-notch scientist — not a chattering female!”
An interesting follow-up to one of Jan’s previous remarks:
“Hank, darling! You’ve been closeted in there all day!”
Okay, modern prism and all, but still…
Roy Thomas takes over about halfway through the volume, but things don’t get any less juicy. Poor Quicksilver is so torn between his boy-crush on Captain America and his way creepy relationship with his sister. Even Hercules, who knows from incestuous romance, Mount Olympus style, raises an eyebrow:
“They zelous devotion doth touch my very soul, swift one! Whence came such a bond ‘twixt mere mortals?”
Translation: “I thought only Greek gods got hot for their sisters!”
Yes, it’s a Freudian mine field, this early run of Avengers stories. Open this volume with care!